Baths-Ugh!!

We wasted a perfectly good fall afternoon. Instead of doing something fun like tracking or training, I had a bath. Barbara took me to Max's Dog Wash. Now I have been there many times before and they are always nice to me. Carrie gives me cookies and everyone makes a fuss over me. But I do not like having a bath. Barbara said that I had to because we are performing with the Drill Team tomorrow and she wanted to make sure that I looked nice for the performance. Well I look just fine even without a bath.

First I had to get on the grooming table while Barbara trimmed the hair on my feet and then used clippers on my neck. Barbara said trimming the hair there would show my elegant long neck. I am sure that people can see how nice my neck is with long hair and who cares anyway? Then I had to get in the tub and get shampooed. Barbara picked a shampoo that smelled like oatmeal. I would like to eat oatmeal but who wants to smell like it? I would much rather smell like dead frogs or deer poop (I can never figure out why she gets hysterical when I want to roll in poop). After all the shampoo was rinsed off I got conditioner which is supposed to make me all soft and shiny. I am already very shiny and my name even means "sheen" so I cannot see the sense of putting stuff on me and then rinsing it off.

I don't mind being dried with towels but I really don't like that blow dryer thing. It must have been invented by someone who hates dogs. It is noisy and scary. Barbara gives me lots of liver bits while she is drying me but I still don't like it. Then I had my nails clipped and I am embarrassed to say that I behaved bery badly. Carrie clipped my nails and of course she didn't hurt me but I flipped around on the table and I even growled at her. I just could not help myself. When I was a puppy someone scared me by trying to dremel my nails and I have never forgotten it. Even though Barbara has spent lots of time desensitizining me to having my feet handled I still worry about it. Fortunately it was over fast and I got a lot more liver. I could not wait to get off the table.

I will look very beautiful tomorrow at the APS Dog Walk but the whole grooming thing is vastly overrated. Selkie always liked to be groomed and brushed (she was very vain about her appearance) but it is a waste of time as far as I am concerned. I am going to take a nap now so the day won't be a total loss.